045 - What Does It Mean To Be A Masculine Man In 2024

Have you ever wondered about the true essence of masculinity and its impact on personal growth, particularly in the realm of fatherhood? Prepare to unravel the complexities of male influence as we share insights on the power of a masculine presence in providing security, building confidence, and fostering a sense of belonging. With a nod to the Hermetic Principle of gender, we delve into the harmonious balance of masculine and feminine energies that shape our universe. Through personal anecdotes and heartfelt stories, we highlight seven key attributes of a strong masculine figure, emphasizing their role in pushing boundaries and nurturing resilience in our children.

This episode isn't just a celebration of male guidance—it's an exploration of the grit and determination that often characterize the journey towards personal excellence. We spotlight the virtues of focus and determination, traditionally linked to masculinity, and how they can become invaluable tools in surmounting life's obstacles. Listen closely as we discuss the profound impact of male role models in mentoring, offering candid feedback, and guiding us through difficult decisions. We recognize the profound sense of purpose and identity gained from community, and we pay homage to the fathers, brothers, and leaders who shape our lives. Join us in this heartfelt tribute to the duality of gender principles and their collective contribution to a balanced, fulfilling existence.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

So the question is is being a man a bad thing? Something I'm asked a lot about, probably because of my style, and people often say what do you think of this discussion around masculinity being attacked? What does that mean and why do you think it is such a bad rap? And being a strong masculine figure and being a father figure is very, very closely related, and I decided to write down a few of the top things that I consider important about masculinity. And I mean masculinity in terms of the caring sense or the development sense, not the masculinity as some of the media has it.

Speaker 1: 0:47

The power of having a strong masculine presence in your life is paramount. I mean, ask anyone who hasn't had a father figure or a strong male role model in their life and they'll tell you it's fraught with danger. Male role model in their life, and they'll tell you it's fraught with danger. There's insecurity, lack of confidence, low self-esteem, not belonging to or not feeling a sense of belonging. That comes with that. It can be an extremely difficult thing not knowing who to ask, not knowing who to look to, not knowing where to get advice and feeling a sense of isolation. And particularly when I studied the Hermetic Principles, the principle of gender comes up. The universe is created with gender at its core, its energies. That there is female and male energies that make up the universe Probably a bit too deep a topic to get kicked off, so let's start with the simple stuff. So I'm going to look into, I'm going to go into what my top seven things are about being a strong masculine figure and also being a father figure, and we'll go through them and see if we can dispel some of the myths that are in mainstream media or some of mainstream media that put a bad light on masculinity.

Speaker 1: 2:05

So number one I've got down here is developing growth. So when you take anyone that is looking to improve themselves, whether it be your, your son or your daughter or someone who's seeking a, you know, a strong role model to someone to emulate or look up to, one of the things that they're looking to do is have that reassurance that they can push out of their existing comfort zone. Because pushing out of your comfort zone is very, very difficult. It can raise all sorts of doubts in your mind and those doubts and fears and uncertainties that you have can be challenging, and especially if it's in an environment that you're pushing and that you're not familiar with. So you have no experience in having someone there that's a strong male figure to push you through, give you a self-sense, self-belief, to give you that energy to say, look, you can do it, keep going. That it encourages that development and that development is what we all seek, because what comes with development fulfillment, the thing that we want from development or growth is the sense of improvement, and that improvement is fulfillment, and fulfillment is what life's all about that being out of your comfort zone, trying something. You're trying something difficult, that's hard, and you are going to suck at it and you are going to be terrible at it, but you stick at it and you keep chipping away until one day you become great at it. And there is nothing more powerful than having someone in your corner backing you up, saying, hey, look, stick in. And that development, particularly from a masculine role model, is a great thing to be. Because when you see someone that has belief in you, that gives you that encouragement, and having the encouragement to push through these fears is really going to pay dividends.

Speaker 1: 3:57

And, particularly as a dad, you know especially have kids that have grown up. My boys all wanted to try something new and inevitably there would come a time where they would want to give in, they would want to stop, or they'd had enough, or they'd run out of willpower and being there and being present and pushing them and say, look, come on, you can do it. Push a little bit more, you can get there. And we would maybe pick something off in the distance, maybe we'd be out a walk or on the bike and bike and say, like you know, pick that lamppost up ahead, can you get to there? And then, when we get to there, give a sense of encouragement that's great, you made it. What about the next one? And you would pick these little milestones, you would chip them off. And it's that sense of developing the growth that I think is paramount, that we all, we all, uh, can see the benefits of it and that that desire to have it is in us all, um, because we like to do things well and for someone to be proud of us, and especially, uh, you know, a strong masculine figure.

Speaker 1: 4:56

So let's look at number two. So number two is self-confidence. Uh, self-confidence, self-belief and, um, self-value are all very, very closely linked, um. So if you have someone that's that strong character or that strong personality that that shows a sense of belief in you and pushes you. You develop a sense of self-value because you you feel that someone's taking the time and effort to put energy into you and that feels good. And then, as they push you on to to keep going, that forges the two other parts, which is the, the self-belief that you can actually do something, because initially it's someone that is saying, hey, you can do it, and they, they believe in you. So you take that with you and you push on, even though you might not feel it, but you can sense their belief in you. So you keep trying and eventually you get there. And then that completes the trifecta because you then get self-confidence once you do it.

Speaker 1: 5:51

That self-confidence, self-belief and self-value is a powerful, powerful thing to have and it's something that, if you are pushed by someone it can be male or female, but as the topic of the podcast there's male role models can only speak from being a dad and being as a male. I know that seems strange and old fashioned in this day and age, given recent times. But look, I've stuck to the principles and it works. And I've seen the power of it in people who are young, old, confused, lost. Not certain little bit of doubt. It works across the board, especially if you give them guidance and push them on. So having that energy is something that I think is a really, really great thing to develop. Especially if you're a young guy out there and you're very good at something, helping the young, the people that are not as good at it as you, is very, very rewarding. So it's something that you should definitely consider doing when you're uh, when you get good at something is find someone that isn't as good at it as you and to help them along the way.

Speaker 1: 6:56

So, number three, being around a strong character or a strong role model, particularly when men communicate. Men have a different way of communicating to women and if you're a guy or you want to find out ways to communicate more effectively with men, there is no better way than to see how a strong character will engage with male figures, and not in the sense that there's a dominance, because that that's that's not the way that actually works. It's actually developed off a sense of respect. So being respectful and understanding that dynamic where you can allow respect to grow, and just watching how that interaction takes place. So a great way of looking at it is looking at influence. So when you, if you're a strong character and you're wanting to interact with someone who is just as strong, you allow a space for them to interact with you and influence you with what they would like to do, and then you can come back and influence them because you've allowed that space to take place.

Speaker 1: 7:58

And that's a great way of getting strong characters to work together rather than to bash heads, because typically a lot of people think it's a case of, you know, clashing heads together and that it's really the winner that comes out on top that decides that. But actually what it is is allowing the space for each other to to have that sort of respectful recognition of each other's strengths and abilities and allow that to take place. And what happens is that brings the guard down and you respect and appreciate people's different skill sets that they have. And one of the best things that you can have, if you're a strong male and you're a strong character and you have another strong male who has a strong character, is combining those skills together, and one of the greatest things you can do is watch how great male communicators do that, because what they do is they encourage a team. You know they build a team together, which will infinitely make the results and outcomes much more positive and much more beneficial, because there is that sense of strength and using other people's skill sets that maybe are some of your weaknesses and they allow you to use your strengths as maybe some of their weaknesses. And what it does is it brings out the best in everyone and we'll come on to it later on but it gives that sense of belonging, because there's nothing more important than when you're on a team is to feel that you belong to that team.

Speaker 1: 9:26

So taking strong characters and putting them together and making them part of a team is great, but what it relies on is the art of communicating very well and very effectively. So these are some of the traits that is very, very good to be around strong male characters so you can watch how it's done, because it's actually quite easy to replicate, and not just at the start. You'll replicate it. It might feel unusual, but what will happen is, once you realize how this interaction takes place, you'll find it really natural to do, because the way that it works is that you're allowing each other's natural strengths to fill the gaps and what happens is you find the strengths where you can fill in someone's weaknesses and they can do the same for you, and it makes a very, very, very natural way of creating a really good communication between each other, and a lot of the time it's non-verbal. A lot of the time you'll find that people just automatically fill those gaps, and that's when you can see nature at work at its best, and a great place to do it is with strong male characters.

Speaker 1: 10:32

This one really, really important. I think. If there's anything that you can take out of this episode today, it's this one. Here is morals and values that you live by. One of the things that you can you will find across the board in strong male role models and characters is the sense of holding themselves to account.

Speaker 1: 10:55

You will hold yourself to a higher standard, and the reason that this is important is is that lots and lots of there's been lots of discussion this week on my mindset, and the discussion has been around why setting your goals isn't the only thing that you need to do. Because lots of people set goals but don't change other parts of their life and you think, well, surely it's just setting goals? Well, if that was the case, it would just be a case of setting your goals and letting the rest take care of itself, but it doesn't seem to work like that. So what is the thing that we need to take care of? And that is holding yourself to higher standard. So holding yourself to higher standard is the same as holding yourself to an account. You can have your existing standards that you hold yourself accountable to and you also have a new set of standards that you maybe want to increase on where you're at and if that, done in lockstep with increasing your goals, is a powerful tool to help change lots and lots of things in your life. To help change lots and lots of things in your life. And it gives you the self-belief, the self-confidence, the integrity in what it is that you're doing, because you're holding yourself to that higher level, and strong male characters will have that in spades. You'll also develop grit and determination.

Speaker 1: 12:17

One of the things that males are notorious for particularly strong ones is the ability to see things through, so the determination to get it done can almost be like blinkers. I look at my sons. I look at when they are. When they are set on a goal, there is just no getting them off it. They just don't. They just don't flinch from the outcome that they want to achieve and it's that determination that is a predominantly strong male energy, and there's a study that's done that can explain why that is. And it's essentially that they they worked out, and a lot of psychological tests, that females are more interested in people and males are more interested in things. And if you've got a particular thing that you're doing that has an outcome, then males can get laser beam focused on it.

Speaker 1: 13:09

The downside is is that they're not too good at multitasking and that's where you have, as we mentioned earlier on, you have the strengths and weaknesses. So if a multitasking is required, you really want to have a great female on your team that can pick up your weaknesses because you've got the laser beam focus and she can make sure everything runs smoothly. That's why things like marriages work, because there's certainly things that I do and you know I can do them really really well on a singular item or singular focus. But, hands down, my wife can just run rings around me if it came to dealing with multiple things at once, because you need to understand that the characteristics of strong males is that they will focus in on that one thing and just block everything else out. That said, it gives you that ability to learn how that grit and determination can be best used, because one of the things that we do is we constantly refine that. How can we keep improving that? How can we keep developing that? And you attach that to holding yourself to account, which is improving your standards. So doing something good and then doing it even better. Right, holding yourself to account and not falling below that level.

Speaker 1: 14:21

The next thing is the grit and determination. So things are going to happen right. They're not going to go all your way right. The only thing that you can guarantee in life is is that the unexpected things are going to come right, so you have got to roll with it. When they do come, the best way to handle that is to adapt and the ability to adapt and adjust to when that happens. But you need to have the grit and determination to see it through to the outcome. You don't want to get caught up in oh, this happened and it wasn't in the plan, and I don't like it and I feel what's the point in continuing?

Speaker 1: 15:00

Having the grit and determination is something that you can foster, and these are things that you can foster whether you're a you know, a boy or a girl. You don't. It doesn't necessarily need to be uh, you know, it's just for boys. This is something you can develop, but one of the greatest places to see it is in a strong male character. It's a strong male character or role model will have this already dialed in, because it's one of the strengths that they'll have and you'll be able to see it in them. They'll be able to see the grit and determination. It's something that you can emulate by just watching how they don't get knocked off track by setbacks, and it's one of the great skills that you can develop. And if you've got a great, strong role model one of the things that you'll recognize instantly as soon as I say it and you think of them, you will know you go yeah, they do good, they do really really well at that.

Speaker 1: 15:47

So another thing, particularly from uh, this will be predominantly from strong male characters or father figures, or someone is, you know, a big brother or a, you know, a mentor to mentor to someone, essentially a role model that somebody looks up to. Maybe they don't have that strong father figure in their life or they don't have someone that they would consider a role model, so they may seek out someone that they can take counsel from or take advice from, and one of the situations that happens there is that maybe, if you're this person that's seeking this, you're maybe making some decisions that don't really work too well. Maybe you're choosing to go down a path that isn't great uh, maybe you've gotten with the wrong crowd. Maybe you're making some bad decisions. Maybe you're lazy, complacent uh, you know whatever the particulars are, but you're just not doing as well as you could and you're.

Speaker 1: 16:42

One of the things that you'll find with a strong male role model is they're going to tell you straight, they're going to give you the blunt news which is like, look, if you keep doing this, you're not going to get a great result, because doing this is creating this situation and outcome, which isn't great, and that's really. You know that. You know that that's the case, and if you want a better outcome, here's what I would do, here's what I would suggest doing to get away from that negative behaviour or the wrong crowd, or making these bad decisions or not keeping yourself consistent or not developing yourself in the way that you want to improve is stop going down that path, and there's something particular about a strong male role model that will have a degree of respect that's only from someone that they see as a big brother or a father figure, because they, they might appreciate that cold bluntness, that direct, straight talking that they might not get elsewhere, and coming from someone that they can respect and someone that they, you know, value their opinion, hearing the, the hard truth, is sometimes a really good thing. So this is why we want to make sure that if you do find yourself going down the wrong path or you do find yourself getting led astray, then make sure that you are seeking out someone that can keep you on the straight and narrow, because we've all had that, we've all had that time to time. So keep yourself on the straight and narrow and find that strong character out there, that whose advice you can respect and appreciate.

Speaker 1: 18:24

So, number six building resilience. Learning how to bounce back from failures uh, learning the to push through and to adapt and adjust. This is the, the one that I would say. When people often will have a setback, they'll have something. They'll ask me for advice. What should I do here? What should I do here? What should I do here? This has took place, this has happened, why bother? And so on, and what you really want to do is to get that, foster that sense of hey look, I can see that it didn't go to plan. I understand why you feel the way you do. It's natural to feel a bit upset that it didn't go the way you planned, but hey, that happens, right that it's going to happen.

Speaker 1: 19:09

And if you try these new things, there's a big figuring out process. So this is just part of figuring out, and one of the ways that you can figure stuff out is by continuing to put yourself in those situations where you're going to either get the result or it's not going to go your way, and if you get the result, great, you're winning. And if you don't get the result, then you're going to either get the result or it's not going to go your way, and if you get the result, great, you're winning. And if you don't get the result, then you're learning. But the beauty is is that that's hope. That's part of you developing yourself.

Speaker 1: 19:33

So stick in and see it through, or adjust and adapt to make sure that you can get what it is that you need, to make sure that you can get the results that you're aiming for instead of just getting knocked off track because it's so easy to get. You're caught up in the, you know it didn't go the way I wanted or I wish it would, I wish I would have had a better outcome, or, you know, blaming external factors. But one of the things that you can do, no matter how bad something happens, is you can learn to adjust and adapt. And you learn to adjust and adapt. That gives you the things that we mentioned earlier on that self-belief, the self-confidence, the ability to develop grit and determination and to push through.

Speaker 1: 20:18

And you want someone in that, in your corner, that's not only been there and done that where they've they've been in situations where they've pushed through, but you can also ask their advice so that they can give you real, honest feedback if, if they think that it's a good thing to keep pursuing, or is it a case of, look, you're better to fight your battles and come back and fight and you know, another day, and that's a great situation to have. And it's that situational awareness that a strong male character will have, because the reason they become strong male characters is they've been in countless of these situations and that's why it's important to when, if you're going to start a new endeavor, then look for the strong characters that have these attributes that can keep you on the straight and narrow. And the last one is probably the one that most people feel but don't recognize is the sense of belonging. So if you're in a football team and you're part of a team, you feel like you feel like one of the guys, you feel like an important part of this, this team that you're in, or, if you have you're part of a community, you feel like you've got you, you're a part of something that's bigger than you and you can serve and help others just like you would if you were in a team or in a community. You can bring something to the table that might help people. And if you have a, if you have someone that is in your team or community or your family or their you know, your husband or your dad or whoever it may be, if they're a strong character, they will give you a sense that you belong to that team, you belong to that culture, you belong to this sort of unit that you have and it's that sense of belonging that lots of people yearn for, because you know they'll say it'll always be.

Speaker 1: 22:07

Start like something like you know I wish I had, and then it will. You know, I wish I had someone that could uh tell me straight when I'm going off track. I wish I could. I wish I had someone in my life that would just uh push me, tell me to push when I wanted to quit. You know, I wish I had someone in my life that um didn't take any of my nonsense and just told me to go quit. You know, I wish I had someone in my life that um didn't take any of my nonsense and just told me to get on with it. I wish I had someone that could say hey, look, you're doing great. I know it's, these things have happened, but you're you're on the right path, keep pushing.

Speaker 1: 22:38

These are all traits that people will not. They will naturally seek these things out and they're yet trying to find where they find such traits, and the answer is a strong male character. You know a big brother, a dad. You know a team captain, a leader. You know these are the things that we seek. We seek these things out. I know, being young, these were the things that I looked to. I looked to guys that were better and older than me and smarter and wiser, and you look for role models and people to emulate, because they have traits and characteristics that you would like, and you recognize these traits because they're either good at what they do, or they're strong, or they're tough, or they can endure, or they're smart, or they're intelligent, or they're thoughtful, or they're tactical, or whatever the trait that you look to emulate, they will have these things, and it all comes from developing that sense of belonging that very, very rarely are these things in isolation. Usually, when you have an outcome, it's usually involves more than one person. You know whether it's you're employed, you can be employed. You work for a business owner. If you're a business owner, you have employees. If you're an investor, you have different people that you deal with. You know end users, companies, different services that you require.

Speaker 1: 24:10

That it's all part of that sense that we belong to something bigger than ourselves, and that is where we want to push these principles that strong male characters have to make sure that we get more of them because unconsciously or unknowingly, we know that they're important. And the hermetic principle said that this is the whole universe, is everything constructed in the universe has the principle of gender as a male and a female aspect, a male and a female energy, and we all do too, and these are the things that we treat. These are the traits that we want to develop and bring more of ourselves out in, and that gives us the sense that we are improving and developing as people. And now, in closing, that might seem strange there might be a lot of snowflakes out there that talk about toxic masculinity and masculinity is bad, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Look, men are tough, men are strong, men will endure, men will do what it takes right. They are one side of a very important coin, and women are on the other side of that, and they have amazing traits as well, and you put them together and you have this beautiful thing that we call life. So they're incredibly important. Both of them are equally as important. They're not equal in terms of what their traits are, because then that would make things all the same. They're not. They have their own wonderful traits that they have that are unique to themselves. It's like men can't have babies, or shock horror that they can't, just like women can't put up a shelf. Well, some of these can, but these are the things that we want to make sure that we uh, we remember why it's important. We remember what it's like to be a family unit. We remember what it's like to be a strong brother, son, father role model, because on the other side of that we've got mothers, sisters, daughters that are all incredible at what they do. They can run rings around us at certain things like multitasking, uh, organizational skills, keeping us on time, checking brake lights from 400 miles away when a car's slowing down, a speed detector in a car without actually ever seeing the speedometer, and continually asking if you're going the right way. So I hope you enjoyed this week's episode on conversations with an investor and why masculinity's not bad. In fact, it's not only great, but it's part of the universe. So if you're a boy out there, you're feeling a bit down and you're feeling unsure, pick yourself up. Don't realize how important you are. Go and be a leader. If you can't be a leader, go and find one. Develop your skills. You're important. If you're a girl out there and you want to get a strong male character in your life, do it, because he will bring out the best in you and, interestingly, you will bring out the best in him. So keep your chins up, stick in, get that determination, the, the grit, the willpower, the ability to adjust and be your best.

Speaker 1: 27:31

Follow me on all my social media channels. Conversations with an investor. We're on tiktok, facebook, instagram, youtube. We've got short content for the nice short punchy stuff. There's chapters on youtube. If you like the short, bite-sized information, there's a playlist over there as well. Be sure to give us a like and a follow, and if you can rate us on Spotify, give us a rating. It'd be great to hear your thoughts as well. If you've got any comments or any feedback that you'd like to share about the power of a male role model, I'd love to hear about it, but from me this week. That's a wrap.